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Many women faced with an unintended pregnancy feel mixed emotions While each woman’s situation is unique, many women share similar mixed feelings about their pregnancies You may feel scared, confused and excited all at the same time If you are unsure about what decision to make with your pregnancy, this section may help you sort through your feelings. The ideas and suggestions in this section are not meant to encourage you to make any particular decision about your pregnancy; rather, they are designed to help you clarify your thoughts and feelings about your pregnancy and make the decision that is best for you The ideas and suggestions presented here are based on the experience of counseling thousands of women faced with an unintended pregnancy
Am I Pregnant?
I am pregnant What are my options?
How do I clarify my feelings?
If you are still feeling unsure about your decision.
Am I Pregnant?
If you think you might be pregnant, you should take a pregnancy test If you use a home pregnancy kit, it is important to have your test confirmed by a health care provider You could contact your regular doctor or you could contact your local health care provider Many centers offer pregnancy tests free of charge or at a low cost, and have trained counselors available to talk with you about your pregnancy test results and options regarding your pregnancy To find a provider, click here
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I am pregnant What are my options?
When you confirm you are pregnant, you have three choices you can make
- You may continue the pregnancy and become a parent
- You may continue the pregnancy and arrange for an adoption
- You may end the pregnancy by having an abortion.
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How do I clarify my feelings?
The following are some ideas and suggestions for how to clarify your feelings about your unintended pregnancy Try these suggestions when you have time to dedicate to yourself without too many interruptions Take as much time as you need Once you are done, you may want to share your answers with someone close to you and talk about them
Suggestion 1
You may want to consider some of the following questions to help clarify how you feel about all of your options
- How do you feel about being pregnant?
It is normal to have many different emotions when you find out you are pregnant You may be worried about how other people may react to your pregnancy You may be happy to learn you can get pregnant You may be angry that you are in this situation Write down all of the things that describe how you are feeling about the pregnancy.
- How do you feel about becoming a parent?
- How do you feel about adoption? What do you think is good or bad about adoption?
- How do you feel about abortion? What do you think is good or bad about abortion?
- What are your values and beliefs? How would the decision to carry to term or have an abortion fit into those values?
- What are your future plans and dreams? How would your dreams change if you became a parent?
- How would having a child change your life now? What are the pros and cons of having a child now?
Suggestion 2
Some women have also found it helpful to make a pro and con list about their options Below is an example of how you could make your own pro and con list
Becoming a Parent |
Adoption |
Abortion |
| Pro |
Con |
Pro |
Con |
Pro |
Con |
Regardless of which option you choose, it is important that you feel like you are making the best choice for you.
Suggestion 3
Though the decision about what to do with your pregnancy is ultimately yours, many women find it helpful to seek guidance from their partners, families, friends, and religious leaders
You may be afraid to mention the pregnancy because you feel embarrassed or ashamed of becoming pregnant unintentionally Keep in mind that most women will experience at least one unintended pregnancy at some point in their lives Even perfect use of birth control cannot guarantee 100% protection from an unintended pregnancy
This is a good time to consider the people in your life that you feel comfortable talking to and that you trust It is important to find someone who will be understanding and supportive The best people to consider are those who will listen to you and offer feedback, but will not tell you what to do
Take a moment to write down the names of the people that you feel you can tell about the pregnancy Now consider the following:
- Will this person judge me?
- Will this person tell others without my permission?
- Will this person support me regardless of what I choose?
Sometimes a woman will feel that she cannot tell anyone about her pregnancy If you feel that you cannot tell anyone or that you do not have anyone to talk to, contact your local healthcare provider to see if they offer options counseling Many providers offer unbiased and non-judgmental counseling services to help you sort through your feelings and the myths and misinformation regarding pregnancy and your choices To find a provider, click here
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If you are still feeling unsure about your decision.
As you consider your options always remember that you are not alone Millions of women in the U.S. and around the world are faced with unintended pregnancies every year. If you feel alone or would like to see what other women have to say about their experience with pregnancy, you can check out some more resources, by clicking here.
Sometimes it can take a long time to make a decision and you need more information than what is found here If you still feel that you need more time or information after completing the above suggestions, go to the following link for the Pregnancy Options Workbook - www.pregnancyoptions.info This workbook has helped hundreds of women clarify their feelings about their pregnancies so that they could make the best decision for their own lives.
For young women and girls, the decision of what to do with an unplanned pregnancy can be particularly difficult, and getting suppoprt from a family member can make a big difference. For tips on how to talk your parents (and tips for parents dealing with this issue), go to www.MomDadImPregnant.com.
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